Child 1, whining: "Papa, he took my flashlight RIGHT out of my hand and left me in the dark, and it's REALLY dark!"
Papa: (calls Child 2)
Child 2, without waiting to be interrogated (oh, and also whining): "But I had a REALLY good reason for taking the light... (goes on for three, Dickens- size volumes)"
Papa: "The bottom line is, if you steal something, no matter the reason, you don't get to keep it. Give him back his flashlight."
Child 2: "Yes, Sir" (proceeds to seemingly obey)
Papa (watching closely): "Give him the BATTERIES, too!" (Child 2 proceeds to give him the batteries.)
Papa (turns to Momma): "Do you ever feel like we're living in a soap opera?"
Momma: "Wait, you mean we're not?..."